[MomOfAgr8Kid]

This is definately just a mom question, because I don't think anyone else understands.

Like I have said in many post I work full-time and attend college as a full time student. This past wed. I left at 7:45am like everyday to go to work, my husband and my daughter were home (she was/is still sick with walking pnomonia), after getting off at 4:30 I went straight to school to a class I had thought would let out around 7:00 or 7:30...we didn't get out til 8:15.

When I got home I couldn't hold back the tears, it had broke my heart not seeing her the entire day, especially her being sick. Now here's the thing: She spends the night with her grandparents sometimes, and I'm ok with that because I see her in the morning. This particular day she was still asleep when I left so I hadn't seen her at all and it was just sad, LOL.

She isn't as bad, but does comment alot how she wants me when I'm at work, when I get home she'll say mommy cant you stay home all days (she is 3). She has had a harder time spending the night with grandparents lately because she wants to come home. When I'm at work she is either with her grandparents or my husband (who works full time as well but 2nd shift)

Do you think this is unhealthy? I know there is a fine line between a loving family and seperation anxiety...but I'm not sure where that fine line is.

[Carrie]

I think it is completely normal for both of you.<hugs>

[WifeAndMommy]

Carrie, on 22 January 2010 - 10:48 PM, said:

I think it is completely normal for both of you.<hugs>

I agree i think it is normal..She 3 and just wondering were mommy is thats all.

Your going to school to provide a better life for you all.

I wish i could atleast go to school but right now its not the time for me but one day!

[scadgrad98]

It is COMPLETELY normal. I had 3 children when I decided to go back to school. It was VERY difficult. When I wasn't at work or in class I was studying... I missed my family terribly. Even when having family dinners at my parent's house, I went into the next room to study.
Keep in mind - it is only temporary. I know you feel like you're missing out on so much - but you are doing it to better the family. As young as your child is - it is likely she won't remember that you weren't home a lot when she was 3. If she does, she'll learn to appreciate all that you did for her.

Best of luck to you. Hold your head up! You are doing what you feel is best for your family!

[MomOfAgr8Kid]

scadgrad98, on 23 January 2010 - 12:40 PM, said:

It is COMPLETELY normal. I had 3 children when I decided to go back to school. It was VERY difficult. When I wasn't at work or in class I was studying... I missed my family terribly. Even when having family dinners at my parent's house, I went into the next room to study.
Keep in mind - it is only temporary. I know you feel like you're missing out on so much - but you are doing it to better the family. As young as your child is - it is likely she won't remember that you weren't home a lot when she was 3. If she does, she'll learn to appreciate all that you did for her.

Best of luck to you. Hold your head up! You are doing what you feel is best for your family!

Thank all of you for your support. Luckily my classes only meet about 4-5 times a month (3 classes) and 1 class is completely online. I thank you all for your help. I feel much better.

[BristolGirl]

It may help if on your days off you do something fun, just the two of you. Find an event in the area to attend or a day at the park, or even let her choose her favorite activity to do with mommy so you can reconnect and have something to look forward to all week when you're away. She may be young, but she probably understands more than you know. Talk to her about why your going to school and let her know that it is temporary. Explain to her how important it is for your family that you sacrifice now so you'll have more fun stuff to look forward to later. Hang in there!

[MomOfAgr8Kid]

BristolGirl, on 01 March 2010 - 01:44 AM, said:

It may help if on your days off you do something fun, just the two of you. Find an event in the area to attend or a day at the park, or even let her choose her favorite activity to do with mommy so you can reconnect and have something to look forward to all week when you're away. She may be young, but she probably understands more than you know. Talk to her about why your going to school and let her know that it is temporary. Explain to her how important it is for your family that you sacrifice now so you'll have more fun stuff to look forward to later. Hang in there!

Oh yes, this is something that we have always done. I strive to run our family very family oriented, and have become pretty successful at doing so. We are the family from "before now" we eat hot suppers together at a dining room table, play board games, do crafts, etc. Even on the long days and nights we always do something together.

[Diane]

MomOfAgr8Kid, on 23 January 2010 - 03:53 AM, said:

This is definately just a mom question, because I don't think anyone else understands.

Like I have said in many post I work full-time and attend college as a full time student. This past wed. I left at 7:45am like everyday to go to work, my husband and my daughter were home (she was/is still sick with walking pnomonia), after getting off at 4:30 I went straight to school to a class I had thought would let out around 7:00 or 7:30...we didn't get out til 8:15.

When I got home I couldn't hold back the tears, it had broke my heart not seeing her the entire day, especially her being sick. Now here's the thing: She spends the night with her grandparents sometimes, and I'm ok with that because I see her in the morning. This particular day she was still asleep when I left so I hadn't seen her at all and it was just sad, LOL.

She isn't as bad, but does comment alot how she wants me when I'm at work, when I get home she'll say mommy cant you stay home all days (she is 3). She has had a harder time spending the night with grandparents lately because she wants to come home. When I'm at work she is either with her grandparents or my husband (who works full time as well but 2nd shift)

Do you think this is unhealthy? I know there is a fine line between a loving family and seperation anxiety...but I'm not sure where that fine line is.

This is only my opinion. I couldn't leave my child alone that long, and grandparents can do so much, she really needs you, but if this is impossible and you can't quit your job and just be a fulltime student than i would suggest someone coming in and helping you. That is where i come in!! She really needs someone to stay with her and she needs love, tenderness, good meals and fun! If you need my help i would love to babysit for ya! I have lots of experience and lots of love to give. My kids are older, 13 and 19 and dont' need me much anymore, but i would probably include my daughter in the care of your little girl, i think the both of us would do a great job and fill just a little bit of that void your daughter must be feeling being without her mommy. Only a suggestion. Call anytime. 542-8116

Diane